Goal #4: Climb Mt St Helens

Where do I begin?? I suppose I can start by crossing "Climb Mt St Helens" off my goal list!

You know what the worst part of a break-up is?... It is the loss of the future.. the loss of plans made. It's not really a secret that I went through a very painful break-up earlier this year. Jon and I had made many plans together... plans that had meaning to me. I can't tell you how painful it was for me to go through my calendar and delete our future.

Not only was Climbing Mt St Helens on my Year of Thirty-One goal list, but it was one of our plans. In the beginning, I had thought, "Fuck it! He isn't going to hold me back! I'm going to go alone!" but my friends and especially the boys didn't want me to. Eventually, a friend of mine offered to go with me. Unfortunately, he couldn't commit to any firm plans, and it was a no-go. I started to think that maybe it just wasn't meant to be, and soon all of the permits for the summer were sold out. About two weeks(?) ago, I had spoken to Jon about the Helens trip. I had wanted to know which trail he had used before and so on. He had mentioned a web site where people would sell permits they weren't going to be able to use. All of last week while I was sick, I thought about how Mt St Helens was the last thing to do on my goal list. How could I not do it?? So I called him on Thursday, asked for a link to the web site he had mentioned before. During the course of the conversation I realized that what I really wanted, was do the climb with him.. so I asked, and he said yes. I'm not sure I understand completely why it was so important that he was the one to go with me... I think it may have had a lot to do with my need for closure... Things fell magically in place from there. He got a sitter for his kids, I traded a day with Eric, and I found a guy with permits for sale.

The climb up the mountain was truly amazing. The view from the top was breathtaking. Finishing off the last goal on my Year of 31 list on the top of a mountain, on a beautiful sunny day,.. it was positively spiritual! Something else happened up there though... I let go of all my "Jon shit." We ran like maniacs all the way down the mountain. The details I am going to keep private, but I will say that the trip brought us healing, understanding, and forgiveness. It was interesting.. we both needed to climb that mountain together.

Closure FTW!

The Year of Thirty-one

Definition: The year in which Alyssa embraces Alyssa, gets to know Alyssa, strives to improve Alyssa, and pays some attention to Alyssa.

It's about G-damn time, isn't it??

As my 32nd birthday rapidly approaches (in about a month and a half) I think that it is important for me to reflect on some things; the goals that I made for myself this year, in particular.

1. Go on an actual vacation.
Done! I went to Hawaii without kids in March of this year. I had a ridiculous amount of fun hiking, running, snorkeling, kayaking, and camping.

2. Start running and do a 5k.
Done! I did my first 5k in Hawaii on March 22, 2009 in Hilo, Hawaii. I did another 5k in May in Kirkland, an 8k in May in Seattle, and a 10k in August in Woodinville.

2a. Amendment to 2. Run a half marathon.
Done! I ran my first half marathon on June 20, 2009 in Burlington. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. I am planning to run another half in September.

3. Clean the attic.
Done! I did it back in.. shoot.. the spring, I think. My house is a freaking mess right now though.. not even sure if I should credit on this one. LOL

4. Hike up Mt. St. Helens.
TBA... I'm working on this one.

5. Take a personal inventory (ie. deal with my shit).
This was certain to be quite the undertaking! lol. I started the process back in December and January... It was a lot more work that I had bargained for! I needed a slight break from such rigorous self examination, but am pleased to report that I have been actively working on it diligently since late May. It sucks ass. Pardon my French in #5, but it goes with the territory. Fuck off if you don't like it. Er.. uh.. moving along...

6. Get a puppy for the kids (and me hehe.)
Done! I love you Legolas!

7. Step out of my "box."
I don't know if I have done this one or not. I think I have.. I feel like I have taken some risks.. I allowed myself to finally fall deeply in love with someone. Unfortunately, he ripped out my heart and it is most likely irreparably broken. Good times. No worries folks, I'm doing ok on that one. See goal #5. That should help, eh? I also volunteered at Camp Orkila for a week and took the kids with me. I have a hard time taking risks when it comes to Matt. I was so scared that him going to camp would be a disaster for him, that the kids would just tease him and he would feel even more isolated from the world. I prayed my little heart out and listened for my answer. Funny how a little listening can go a long way. He did beautifully. What Camp Orkila did for my baby that week was truly of divine proportion. I also bought two pink shirts. (Trust me, that's huge.)

8. Look into going back to school.
Ugh! Ok, so I looked into it! I went to see a person at the community college. She was a moron. (I'm projecting) Now shut up about it, because I'm not ready!

So there you have it. I think I have come far in many ways. I feel behind in others... I'm thinking of having a "Year of 32." I can continue working on the ongoing goals of my current list, and of course add some new ones.

Comments and suggestions welcome.

Focus Focus Focus!!!

Alright, so I think we all know I have lost some focus in the past several weeks. First, I had a 4 day migraine, then my family was in town, followed by 2 weeks of 90-100+ degree weather, and then, CAMP! I've put on 13 frickin' pounds! Can I just say.. WTF??

So now that I am back from vacation, it is time to regain some focus. Today I went to the gym and ran 5.67 miles in an hour. It went well, other than the right shin muscle pain. What is that shin muscle pain all about anyway?? It bothered me so much on a run on Orcas Island during my vacation, that I couldn't even walk and was forced to sit down for 15 minutes on the side of the road! Hmmm...

I did manage to find a running partner. I found her on Craigslist. She and I have only run once together, but I enjoyed it. She is out of town this weekend, but next week I am hoping to get together a few times and run.

Tomorrow is the Covey Run for Children's Hospital. I feel unprepared, but I think I am going to show up and run the race anyway. It is a good cause and I need a good prod in the rear. I plan to run it nice and easy, as I have a yucky cold, and I am a little out of shape since I have been slacking in the training dept.. (and eating like a pig!) There is a 5k or 10k... we will see...